Written by Jaggedone
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Wednesday, 15 July 2009

image for Sexy, nudist Tour de France follows Lance and Co!
Tanga especially designed by 7 x Nudist Tour champion Lance Dickstrong, guaranteed to stop saddle soreness !

Nudists, FKK, Gay Rights, Lesbians and other sexually driven groups including S & M ers and latex fetishers have collaborated and successfully launched the 2009 "Nudist Tour De Sex in France."

They are following the same route as the real Tour and have attracted millions of spectators wishing for a quick roadside glimpse as they "flash" by!

Several problems have occurred along the route, sex crazy spectators jumping on crossbars for a quickie, gay men refusing to overtake other males because they prefer riding from behind, heavy boobed female riders bouncing and falling off of their bikes whilst riding over cobblestones, rather hugely growm males causing crashes as their dicks hang left or right and get caught in their spokes (ouch!), etc, etc.

Dress criteria is completely nude or max, tangas to make the spectators, controlling Gendarmerie, TV crews, sex press even hornier and to avoid saddle soreness!

600000 tubes of vaseline have been used already and the nudist tour is only 3 days old!

Reporters from the Sun, News of the world, Mirror and other cheap page 3 tabloids closely following the event asked several participants how the Tour was going:

Jane La Grandtitties answered, "ces't magnifique, but my ribs are getting quite bruised!"

Jeremy Suckdick-Humponback answered, "Oooh jolly gay and everything apart form my sore botty, but used to that!

Sascha Bushypussy answered: "Oh I love it, bouncing bare bottomed through france, my pussy is constantly moist and my nipples stand like the Eifel Tower!!"

Last not least, yellow Tanga holder, Lance Dickstrong answered, "fucking great man, I get horny every day whipping past these bare bummed beauties, all I want to do is overtake, finish first and watch the rest cross the finishing lines, wank a minute mate!"

Jaggedone and his horny CIA (cockroach infiltration army) reporters will report from the Nudist Tours resting camps about the nocturnal fun and games as the Tour progresses! Keep you posted!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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