PYONGYANG, Wed. In developing news, astonishing rumours are amok that Kim Jong Il, ailing President of the People's Republic of North Korea, is to be replaced by none other than the hitherto dead pop personality, Michael Jackson.
A reliable source within the regime has leaked news of a succession plan that will see Jackson assume the Presidency of this Marxist-Lenninist state before the end of this year. The insider also revealed that Jackson has been living in seclusion just outside the capital since June 25, the supposed date of his death.
Jackson has apparently been in discussion with the North Koreans for 18 months or so and the elites here were impressed with his promises to alleviate poverty and feed the poorer sections of this rundown Communist state.
The former King of Pop is said to be overjoyed that he can live out his ultimate dream of being a benign dictator, though how long he stays benign is not known.
South Korean authorities are in two minds as to how to approach this new development. While it may calm nerves on the Korean peninsula, it may exacerbate economic rivalry with Jackson CD sales soaring in the north and sliding in the south.
Whatever the situation, Jacko rules. Okay?