Written by Ed
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Topics: 9/11

Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for 70s police drama addict caused Sept 11 crash

It has been revealed that the plane which struck the South Tower of the World Trade Centre had been hijacked by a Jordanian former traffic policeman with a mania for straight-to-video 70s cop films.

Mr Abdul Love Hewitt III, latterly of Monterrey California but born in Ggaittare-on-Sea, Jordan, was heard on recordings from the black box of Flight 187 screaming 'follow that plane, satanic infidel!'.

CCTV pictures of Mr Love Hewitt showed him walking calmly thought baggage check-in and security at Boston's Logan airport prior to boarding the flight. He was wearing casual slacks, an ill-fitting sports jacket and oversize sunglasses. Airport security staff had initially been suspicious of Mr Love-Hewitt's bushy mustache, but were obliged to let him onto the plane having failed to remove it by force.

A letter concealed in Mr Love-Hewitt's luggage, which was miraculously found by police unscathed and the right way up on the ground outside the now-defunct WTC 2 days after the crash, detailed his current unofficial investigation into allegations that the pilot of the first plane to hit the building, Mohammed Atta, was mixed up in a dope-deal with some wise-guys from downtown. Mr Love-Hewitt's former partner, Axel Foley, had been left paraplegic after a shoot out with business associates of Mr Atta in 1986, during a botched ATF/LAPD raid on a kindergarten in Beverley Hills.

Former colleagues of Mr Love-Hewitt in the traffic division of Orange County PD, described him "just the sort of person who would do this". Neighbours in the Monterrey trailer park he had recently moved to said "normally people round here keep themselves to themselves, and are pleasant, family guys.

This guy was a total nutball. He had the entire 'Chips' series on DVD for Christ's sake". Mr Love-Hewitt's mother, who works in Washington DC as a crack-whore, told us she "never liked him - I hope he burns in hell".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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