Bowing to pressure from The College of Cardinals, Pope Benedict admitted from Vatican City that he is the actual father of the Michael Jackson children. "Look at them," said the Pontiff. "They are as white as me. There's no Jackson blood in those kids."
"Michael helped us in so many ways when our priests needed counseling for their yearnings and desires, that the church gave back to him in a very unique way."
"I currently do not have the time and am not of a young enough age to raise any children. I'm sure that I can find some priests to help with the young boys, and we've got a nun or two that would volunteer to help properly raise the young girl. These kids must be brought up properly in the faith!"
This Pope is the first Pontiff to have biologically fathered children since....the last one.