Koror, Palau/ Island Times/Financial/Travel Section Special Edition - This Pacific collection of 258 Islands under the Protection of the US, is demanding additional financial aid with the recent deluge of Spoof Journalists being dumped due to the latest Obama Regime's Purge of Truth In the Media.
Formerly occupied by 20,000 native souls, the islands have swollen in recent weeks to include 13 Uyghur Chinese Separatists, and 1575 relocated former Journalists, whose main crime was trying to bring to light the antics of the Obama Chicago Crime Family.
In an accommodation to the US, Palau graciously accepted the 13 Uyghur dissidents recently freed from GITMO in exchange for a $200 million US grant under the Protection Contract administered by the UN. They also sponsored 13 Uyghurettes to provide companionship and keep the Chinese from cross breeding with the already mixed raced Palua populace.
However, now that the Obama Cabal, headed by Presidential Counsel Greg Craig and militant expediter Rahm Emanuel, have gotten their camel shaped noses under the tent, they have inundated the idyllic island with a horde of Spoof Writers from North America in attempt to buy out ethical Journalism.
Rumours are also rampant that they may even be joined by SOME Writers from the UK, Thailand, and even Denmark after news escaped that FREE BEER was part of the perks offered by the Obama Anti- Truth in Journalism Resettlement Team.
Palau immigration Czar, and Treaty Negotiator, Joshua 'Pop Top' Koshiba , speaking for Palau President "Big" Johnson Torisbiong, said that the financial support offered by the US was no longer adequate to support the influx of writers, even though they did bring a certain level of "sophistication" to the island. He did say they were almost single handedly supporting the local micro brewery, but he still felt it only fair to have the US step up its support payments which he called "a second stimulus."
"After all," said Kosiba, " it's not cheap trying to suppress the Press...if you want to keep these guys quiet we need more money to keep them happy so they will stay away from their lap tops, and in the local bars enjoying lap dances instead!"
An Expatriate reunion was being sponsored during our visit to the island, and a collection of leading Point Getters from the Spoof.Com were arriving to embrace their former colleagues, now stateless nomads, and talk about old times.
A dazed Duncan Whitehead, emerging from Business Class on the Non Stop Virgin Airline flight appeared to be in shock when he walked into the Terminal Bar where the reunion was having a 'meet @ greet' before retiring to the beach for a cook out: " I was wondering where all these guys disappeared to.....this is really some weird shit!"
Some Brief Reunion Notes:
Everyone missed Skoob 1999 who had to work and missed the flight.
Doctor Vic administered to "some really sick people".
Earl Grey tried to serve a few UK subpoenas but was told to 'fuck off'
Bargis and President "Big John" were comparing items of interest in a frank discussion where they laid everything out on the table
Jman complained that his Sushi tasted like Pussy and asked for Hot Sauce
Madame Bitters was able to sell 8 time share units on the Beach, including one to Rusty who said he was tired of freezing his ass off on the Ross Ice Shelf and was glad he could finally come in out of the cold and stop pretending to be a female teenager on the site.
Nick Fun provided the entertainment doing an inprov skit interviewing Bart 7
JO (?) continued work on the 85,000 piece jig saw puzzle which appears on his Blog....piece by piece, with narrative on why he picked each piece
Mark was to Hand out Excellence in Journalism Awards, but said at the last minute he had changed his mind, and would stick with the usual shit that got the site to where it was....
A GRAND TIME WAS HAD BY ALL AND QM WOUND UP WRITING A LOVE LETTER IN THE SAND TO COMMEMORATE THE EVENT AND THANKING PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR THE OPPORTUNITY....
(ED note: Unfortunately the tide came in and the words were obscured before they could be recorded for posterity)
(Sandy,Gritty /Ass Crack/ Douche Mess/ )