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Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Some of Michael Jackson's hits revealed to have been written by Bubbles
The composer of hit song "Billie Jean" contemplates a Top of the Pops appearance

In a surprise announcement by Michael Jackson's father, it was revealed that some of his son Michael's greatest million-selling hits weren't in fact written by the singer at all.

At a special press conference to moan to the world about being left out of his son's will, Stonewall Jackson claimed that "Thriller", "Billie Jean" and "Beat It" were actually written by Bubbles, his son's pet monkey.

It was further revealed that the reason the singer's home "Strangelands" was so big was not just to accommodate people called Jordan and Macauley, but to allow the installation of 5,000 computers with the Sibelius music programme installed. 5,000 monkeys sat in front of theses computers all day, and on the basis of the law of averages, at least one hit was produced by them every three months.

It seems that Michael might not have been impressed with the first hits produced by his fleet of monkeys. It was suggested by his father that the originally named "My banana is over-ripe", "I've got a lovely bunch of keys nicked from a visitor" and "Pimp my gorilla" weren't suitable for inclusion on his compilation greatest hits album.

These were later renamed to "Thriller", "Billie Jean" and "Beat It" by the singer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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