Written by IainB
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Monday, 6 July 2009

image for Michael Jackson's funeral
Don't stop til you get enough people watching...

Preparations are well under way for the Man in the Mirror, Michael Jackson's, funeral in Los Angeles, and it promises to be a thriller.

The casket, made from ebony and ivory, will be mourned over by a billion spectators (mainly black or white), via the global TV network, who have just got to be there, and they will cry with one more chance to see him. Some lucky individuals have secured tickets that you can't win and have the be selected for. At least one smooth criminal, is selling his ticket on eBay for thousands. But that's just human nature. Who is it? A stranger in Moscow.

"They don't stop coming," said his brother Jermain. "He was gone too soon. Will you be there? You're not alone. They don't care about us, it's all about Michael. He was unbreakable. He will go down in history with his visionary off the wall style."

They will scream his name, as they remember the time he tried to heal the world with his hit Earth Song.

"He was such a pretty young thing," said his sister, Janet. "He had an addiction in the closet, but we all thought he would beat it. It is too bad, now leave me alone."

Superstars of the music business will be turning out in their droves. "It makes me feel dirty," Diana Ross said, "that they are turning his death into a circus. I foresee blood on the dance floor if they keep trying to jam in. He was always another part of me."

Billie Jean King, the tennis player Jackson named one of his hits after, has declined to comment, but did allow the thirty-fifth song title to be crammed into the article.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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