Stories have surfaced regarding upcoming criminal charges brought against pop singer Michael Jackson by Pinocchio.
In a written avadavat seen by a popular entertainment website, Jackson was named as the defendant in a sexual molestation claim by the little wooden boy with a heart of gold, in which 'lewd and lascivious behaviour' were cited amongst the main offences.
It is also alleged that Jackson was part of a Hollywood paedophile ring, which included Mickey Mouse and Ronald McDonald of McDonald's burger fame.
The ring identified itself by all wearing white gloves and acting like dickheads.
Theories abound that the trail and subsequent scandalous allegations were too much to bare for the King of Pop and led to him taking his own life by excessive dancing.
The star was said to have gone through a gruelling routine just hours before he died.
Lawyers for Jackson have said that Pinocchio's claims were fraudulent and untrue and that his testimony would never stand up in court.
"If he was put on the stand his nose would just grow and grow", said a Jackson family lawyer.