Due to a problem with his hearing aid, the French Interior Minister, Monsieur S. Mel Garlique, has banned a host of people with names sounding like burkha.
Following a giant international misunderstanding over the traditional black full-body dress favoured by the hard of thinking, Monsieur Garlique issued an immediate ban on Bourkes and Burkes.
Kathy Burke, the popular comedienne and sidekick to Harry Enfield (already banned in Saudi Arabia and Oman due to the fire-arm connotation of his surname) was enraged to find that on the way to a show in Paris, she was placed on a Eurostar train and sent back to England.
"I wouldn't mind, but I was on a plane at the time" she said. She added that she felt discriminated against just because she liked to make fun of the French and their disgusting eating habits.
Meanwhile, BBC journalist and newsreader Michael Buerk was stopped and extradited back to the UK on his way to report about the proposed banning of the burkha. He was said to be dazed and confused.
Back in the UK, the Learning Skills Council is also livid that all British political history books used in French schools have been severely censored, with any reference to Edmund Burke, an 18th century MP, blacked out. In particular, his most famous speech, "Edmund Burke - He is a Member of Parliament" now looks quite ridiculous with all his name references removed. If it wasn't for the fact that he has no expense claims for moats, duck houses or 42-inch plasma tv's, it could now be any old political speech.