Written by Morse
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Friday, 26 June 2009

image for Obama/Sharpton train to convey Jackson's remains home to Gary, Indiana on final tour; seats already sold out!
OMG: HE'S DEAD!!! WORLD STOPS TO MOURN POP DIETY...WTF?

Gary, Indiana - Steel Worker News - Obituary Page -- This blue collar steel driven town of coal dust, sweat, and union workers, prepared to welcome home one of its own, as Departed Pop Icon Michael Jackson was declared a "national treasure" by President Barry "the Chiller" Obama.

Obama said he will personally accompany Jackson's remains to his home town resting place and has commandeered the Obama/ Lincoln Express Train he recently used to ride triumphantly into Washington, DC for his January Inaugural, to carry the body from Los Angeles to Gary, Indiana.

Event coordinator Rev. Al Sharpton said he is scheduling 1500 stops along the way where adoring fans can walk thru the Customized "Praise Jesus" Pullman Car and view the embalmed body of what the President is now calling THE CZAR OF BLACK POP MUSIC. An emotional Obama, said that without the earlier inspiration of Michael Jackson, chances are he never would have become more than a shiftless ,average point guard playing Basketball in Europe. "His music made me what I am today, " a humble Obama sobbed in a private ABC interview at the Los Angeles Coroner's office.

Rev. Sharpton said Jackson was an inspiration to all black people, despite the fact that Michael appeared to do anything medically possible to become whiter than white bread in his declining years.

Sharpton said a walk thru the car will cost $50 US, to touch the shroud will cost $100, a picture in the coffin with the Mummy would be $4500, and a certified copy of the death certificate would be $25 and include a T-shirt commemorating the occasion.

In a rambling dissertation in front of New York's Apollo theater covered by Spoof Reporter Hal A. Peno, Sharpton lamented that white people had done everything in their power to exploit Michael, a theme echoed by Rev. Jesse Jackson who said "those Heimes killed my boy," before he broke down.

But Sharpton also said he had sole rights to the body, despite claims to the contrary from the Rev. Jesse Jackson, both Sr. and Jr. from Chicago, the Prince of Bahrain who had recently funded Michael several millions of dollars in recent years, and the Bill Clinton Library in Arkansas, where a spokesman said that the Library was willing to pay $14M to perpetually house a shrine for the popular Jackson in the library of "America's First Black President", a claim now being contested by Rahm Emanuel on behalf of the US's current first half white President, Barack Obama.

Towns across the nation are being deluged with demands that major streets be renamed Michael Jackson Boulevard, but to date only John Murtha in Pa, and Barney Frank in Ma. have proposed measures to honour Jackson.

In Hershey,Pa, Murtha is proposing the Michael Jackson Hershey Highway, and in Massachusetts, Frank has designated a little used back alley in Newton as Michael Jackson's Way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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