News just in would appear to suggest that Peter Pan of pop, and acquitted serial child abuser Michael Jackson, has had a seriously bad day.
In fact, it's been so bad that he's dead, and people can't possibly have a worse day than that.
This www.theSpoof.com team, unable to connect with our Hollywood connections due to global internet crashes, have had to rely on second hand reports from Hollywood by leading TV news channels.
These reports appear to suggest that Jackson, 50, suffered a fatal coronary infarction as he jerked off with a rope attached to strategic parts of his body, looking at a very juvenile Kenny doll.
Some family members are reported to be very angry at the late actor, David Carradine, who wanked himself to death with ropes attached, for giving the middle aged kiddie fiddler the inspiration.
A spokesman frm the LA hospital told us:
"He died of a Thursday."
More dead paedophile related frippery as we get it.