Incoming news appears to suggest that the small European country of Belgium, has gone totally off the rails, and is nowhere near as good as it used to be.
Warnings coming in suggest that the small country, once renowned for the port of Ostend, with it's 'interesting' Langstraat, the Grande Place in Brussels, and the lovely 'Venice of The North' Bruges, could possibly pose serious security threats.
Armand Le Belgique, head of Brussels Criminal Investigation Bureau told us:
"We don't feel that we have many major security issues, but we have uncovered a few sex case issues in tha last couple of years, and there is always the possibility that if you drink too much of Belgium's finest brew and wander into a tattoo parlour in an unguarded moment, that you will end up with your face covered in star tattoos. Leaving you looking like a proper twat."
On a positive note, Belgian beer is still ranked alongside the best in the world, Belgian chocolate is still widely eaten by discerning obese lady chocolate lovers, and some people continue to watch Jean Claude Van Damme movies.
Armand Le Belgique was born in Salford.
More Belgian related buffoonery as we get it.