Written by IN SEINE

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Topics: bald, Hair loss

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

image for Baldness calculator has millions of hits in a day.
"I Vish zis vos invented five years ago!"

'Herr Hair' is a new calculator launched by a German company to predict the amounts of hair loss and more importantly, when and what rate.

Programme users are asked to state their age, marital status, occupation, if there is any history of hair loss in their family and their stress levels. They are also asked where their current hairline lies.

German scientists have spent many years working carefully upon this program. Makers believe many Germans suffer from a hereditary hair loss that began in the 1930s, pinpointing the genetic source as the spa town of Balden Balden (others believe it was because of Hitler's experiments)

Of those choosing to look at the site, many are between 15 and 30 years old. Alarmingly, these are not all men; some are women looking at what type of prospective suitor to marry. Predictions are given on a 'Slapometer'

The scientists are hoping that in future they will be able to develop a similar site for women to use, but will also predict the best colour of rinse to use. They are also developing a version for French girls to monitor their underarm hair.

Dr Helmut Von Platt from Berlin Medical University told In Seine News; "Ve are living in ze very hair raising times because it is very important for ze male sex to know ven zey might lose ze Barnett. Ve have discovered zat ze Botox is very good for bringing hair back because ze women who have been using it, have developed ze moustaches under zeir noses"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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