Memphis Tn - Completely bald Cletus Presley was today recovering in hospital in Memphis after being savagely attacked by his own pet cat.
The cat, named Duke, after the late actor John Wayne was described by neighbors as being an ornery critter.
Presley was rushed to hospital suffering from some serious scratching and a perforated ego.
He told us:
"I'd had me a couple of beers and must have drifted off to sleep after watching the football on TV. Real football, not that sissy crap they watch in Europe. Uh huh. And anyways, I must have taken to snoring in my sleep. I know the Duke hates it when I snore, he gits all unnecessary about it.
"Anyways, I woke up in pain with Duke clamped to ma face scratchin' the livin' hell outa ma head. He was a howlin' an' a growlin' an' a screechin' like a real CRAZY cat. If it warn't for Priscilla knockin' him about the head with a rolled up newspaper I'd have been a goner, for sure. Uh huh."
Presley is expected to make a full recovery. The cat was last seen going out to hunt gerbils.
More cat related confustication as we get it.