Washington, D.C. - President Barack Obama shocked the nation today by suggesting it might be time to go into Iran and 'crack some skulls.'
In a dialogue with the press corp in the White House, Mr. Obama made the following statement, "...It's not like this idea just came to me, but I was thinking that, considering the fluidity of events in Iran, it might just be the right time for me and some of the boys to go over and settle a few accounts with these Ayotollah fellas. Who's game?"
Politely nodding their heads at the back of the room were Senator John McCain and former secretary of state, Dick Cheney. Mr. Obama's wife, Michelle, was seen walking circles and muttering to herself, "I don't know, I don't know."
After finishing her catatonic strut, she quickly composed herself and stated defiantly, "Well, my mother told me he wasn't the guy I had married, that he had changed. But, if there's one guy in this room that can whip the religion out of an Ayatollah, I always knew that it would be my husband."
After a measured length of polite though boisterous applause, the President sat down with the press corp and had a lunch of maple glazed chicken with asparagus, potato croquettes au gratin followed by lemon sorbet. Having finished their lunch, the gentlemen removed themselves to the terrace for some cigars and coffee, then promptly summoned the Secretary of War to bring them an assessment of their middle-eastern positioned stores and armaments. Mr Obama appeared a bit disappointed when he was reminded that a war cannot be declared officially until Congress returns from a bathroom break; one that may actually last all summer.
Having resigned himself to that fact, President Obama concluded the excitement of the afternoon by sending a cursory email to Iran President MacMoody Ima Dinnerjacket which read,
"They're coming to take you away, ha..ha. They're coming to take you away."
The President retired for the evening and, after watching a documentary on PBS about how Ed McMahon had really been a black man in a white man's body, went off to bed.