Google.com - Save those still shielded in their fortified underground bunkers or wisely hiding behind their nom de plume, the Mystery Men and Women of the TheSpoof.Com are no more, after a recent policy change in google.com news giving authors a byline credit right next to the stories they write.
"I don't know who to fear the most that might come knocking on my front door," said one spoof writer. "An ax murder, some true believer political activist or my grade school grammar teacher."
"I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for a literary agent or Hollywood producer," said another spoof writer. "But I'll sell out for an attractive woman that's trying to persuade me to writer a satire for a cause she's involved with. That or a half eaten piece of one-day old cold pizza."
That is right Mystery Men and Women of TheSpoof.Com be very, very afraid to answer your front door, answer the phone or even starting your car in the morning.
"I'm not worried," said another spoof writer. "I'll just get one of my kids to start my car for me."
"I don't know, man," said yet another spoof writer, still in shock. "This can't be happing, man. Game over! Game over!"
Now what does this all mean? Will it translate into actually securing opportunities for employment as comedy writers?
"Probably not," said Mark Lowton, administrator of the satire website. "Or should I say, I hope not. Those diluted spoof writers are my bread and butter. Without them I wouldn't be able to afford the necessities of life like these elephant ivory pencils. Boy, are they expensive. You'd think they hold a point longer for what I pay for them, too. Seems like I spend the whole day sharpening them, one right after the other. Oh, but am I the envy down at the marina. I got everybody in the yacht club wishing they had just one. And I gots crates of them. Yup, all thanks to my spoof writers and their delusions of grandeur of becoming gainfully employed comedy writers one day."
So beware Mystery Men and Women of TheSpoof.Com you are on notice.
And may I impart with you all with the immortal words of that infamous Morerican of the Morerican generation, Carlito, from the movie "Carlito's Way" as my final warning.
As Carlito said, while trapped in that bathroom without an exit except for the way he got in. Out of bullets to his foes just outside the door, before making his charge: "Here comes the pain!"
"Oh, man. Now I got [to] upgrade my spell checker," said me. "Or is it, I? Say, are you sure this pizza is only one day old?"