Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: New York, Mayor, Appeal

Friday, 19 June 2009

image for New York City Mayor Appeals For Calm
It's A Wonderful Town

NYC Mayor, Gordon Von Braun today made an impassioned plea to Manhattan residents to stay calm in the somewhat delayed reaction to the 'Cloverfield Incident.'

Manhattanites have had a lot to put up with over the years, and Cloverfield was just the latest in a string of tragedies to hit the city.

In 1933 the city was terrorised by a giant ape which was shot down by the air force after it had scaled the Empire State Building.

The city was also terrorised by a prehistoric flying dinosaur which had built a nest in the top of the Chrysler Building.

Plagues of rats, insane taxi drivers, Jason out of Friday The 13th, vigilante killers like that bloke out of Death Wish, alien invasions, subway slashers, and similar have turned New Yorkers paranoid.

In a bid to allay fears and concerns Mayor Von Braun told citizens:

"These are all just movies. They're not real. So please remain calm. What you should worry about is Girls Aloud playing Radio City Music Hall. God forbid that happening. Then we'd all head for the bridges and tunnels screaming."

More New York related nonsense as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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