Cyber Space News - Bargis Tryrol, the creation of Grand Spoofer Buckwheat, and formerly known as The Man with the World's Largest Penis, has been cut down to size after an ill fated personal meeting arranged on the internet with a serial Deboner and turgid member collector.
Interviewed in his hospital bed, where he is waiting for a penis transplant, Bargis went on in great detail to warn innocent web browsers and other lonely, horny people about the dangers of accepting new internet friends at facebook value.
"People just aren't what they appear on line" the diminished sex symbol said morosely, " here I thought I was going to meet with the woman of my dreams; a gorgeous rich US widow that owned a liquor store and was addicted to sex with a super huge vagina!"
Bargis went on to describe how other internet followers had rated his dream girl with 5 stars and over 4,000 confirmations of her honesty,integrity and high character...and that was just in one day!
"She invited me for dinner at her condo in Marina del Ray overlooking the Pacific, and even picked me up in her Morgan Plus 4 at the airport. She was gorgeous, and let me know she couldn't wait to see my famous member in all its award winning rigidity!"
"Well, I should have known there was something wrong when before we even had a warm up cocktail she was hot to tie me down to the bed. Trusting her completely, I complied....my first and most painful mistake!"
Once she had Bargis helpless, according to the now hapless Eunuch, she began to show him her collection of trophies including the pickled dick of John Dillinger, the wrinkled member of Ramses IV, the speckled splinter of Johnny "Wad" Holmes...and a succession of other male specimens she claimed came from famous politicians whose manhood she also collected, but they were too embarrassed to file a complaint while they were still in office.
And about her high ratings on the internet?...simple she said, she just kept rating herself, and despite a mild case of carpal tunnel to her right wrist, she was able to keep herself in the top twenty of the personal site's HOT LIST.
Bargis says he is happy he finally got away with just the loss of his famous penis. "Hey, you know, it was just really a figment of my imagination anyway....give me a few weeks here to rest up and I know it will grow back in even bigger proportions....you know how those rumors on the internet just grow and grow and grow......and I know Buck will write me up for another big one...but this time I'm going to keep it to myself!"