An unnamed Spoof writer was last night heading for Iran's capital Tehran in a vain bid to get taken hostage by some Iranian girls who he thinks look "a bit hot" even with their headscarves on.
This valiant bid at pan global relations was dealt a cruel blow after British Airways confirmed to the poor deluded man that they'd stopped flying to Iran since October 1982 & were amazed that he'd managed to buy a ticket that was 27 years out of date.
Not to be thwarted in his lusty bid to help free the young ladies of Tehran the unnamed writer thinks he can manage to get there using an imaginative selection of connections.
The poor fool will Ryanair his way to Austria, then take a train into Istanbul before using a bosporus straits ferry to Hopa.
Then, by using a mule he'll travel along the Pontic mountain range and hopes to cross into Azerbaijan via Mt Ararat & Georgia.
The plan then is to hollow out the mule & canoe from Baku to the northern Iranian coast where he will don a disguise so secret that I can't begin to describe it although rumours abound that it involves a tail and a pole with truffles dangling from it?
Once Iran has been penetrated (snigger, snigger) our erstwhile venturer hopes to climb to the summit of Mt.Damavand from where he will assemble his telescope for a good look at the local wildlife (snigger, snigger, snort, dribble).
The final phase of his badly thought out plan is to hitch a lift on an Iranian Revoulutionary Guard Tank into the Capital & then wade into the protestors disguised as a civilian militia officer where he'll hopefully get taken hostage by aforementioned Iranian girls.
Keep watching Sky news this evening to see if he manages to succeed in his mission or just gets beaten up, bummed & set on fire?