Swine Flu now reaches 42 in the small community of Pertia.
The most recent two cases were a 102 year old long-time retired pensioner who got Swine Flu in his apartment complex from another sick Swine Flu victim who stays next to his apartment room. Doctors say "We nerds have discovered what caused this. It is likely that he got the virus from the neighbouring elderly who lives in the room next to him. Both of them share a bathroom and therefore, the 102 year old must of gotten it from there."
The 102 year old man says "Life's beautiful but I cannot see it and sometimes nurture it. I am currently discombobulated about what caused this disparage with Swine Flu! Maybe I'm a bit eccentric to a duplicity of Swine Flu. I ain't obsessed with big words. I'm just a dweeb."
He confused all the news reporters and required hours of dictionary searching to find out what he meant. He also said he broke up with his wife recently because of his Swine Flu.
The second last case was a news reporter who thinks he contracted the Swine Flu from an interview in Pertia. He was live on a news program, being interviewed in Pertia and he started to feel sick during the interview. He managed to carry on the interview for another 5 minutes until he was sick enough to be rushed to hospital, just to find out he tested positive to Swine Flu.
He will not appear in the newsroom for another month or two. We will keep you updated as soon as possible.