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Thursday, 11 June 2009

image for Muscle Competition Cancelled: Body Mass Desertion
Muscle Men Scared Off

Asse Belgium (FTB newswire) The Belgian Bodybuilders Competition was suddenly cancelled when competitors fled the arena. Shortly before show time, pumped up contestants ran like girly-men at the sight of a local doping official. Fans were left flexing their muscles to get their money back.

The crunchers ran at the sight of five feet two inch Hannah Gruber as she attempted to enter the locker room. Thirty participants left their gear and scrambled for the nearest exit. "It was complete chaos," said Heinrich Coutman, competition organizer. "I have never witnessed such a spectacle, grown men shrieking like little girls. I hope I never see it again."

Gruber is an official with the Belgian Sports Council. She had been sent to the contest because the sport has a record of doping. Gruber, who admitted to being sixty two years old, laughed, "All I did was open the door and announce myself. The look on their faces was pure fright. Then, it was all asses and elbows as they ran off."

At a competition last year in southern Belgium, officials found that over half of the massive men had tested positive for doping. Gruber vowed that she will not be deterred. She jokingly said, "I'll be back!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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