Written by Rebut
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Topics: Britain, Middle East

Monday, 5 July 2004

image for Total Smacking Ban in Middle East
In Australia we use kiddies as firewood

Amid the uproar over child smacking in Great Britain, comes the news that Middle Eastern countries have followed suit and placed an outright ban.

Palestinian authorities said that they were alarmed at how many parents of suicide bombers, smacked their children...and ended up blowing half a supermarket away.

A spokesmen for the Saudi royal family said that they were concerned, that tourists may be discouraged by the sight of parents whose hands have been cut off, smacking their children.

Iraqis were outraged that this pleasure be denied parents but felt that they must show solidarity. Solidarity is of course, the Polish soldier beheaded in Fallujia after receiving a decent smacking by many parties whose claims of parentage, are to say the least dubious.

British readers will be aware of what has been termed "middle road smacking". This, as the name suggests entails dragging the little shit into the middle of the road for a decent hiding, before the bastards arrest you.

Of course with all the speed cameras you are in serious trouble if you try this. Either the lunatic drivers swerving all over the road to avoid detection will flatten you, or the camera will have your picture for easy identification.

Please believe me when I say that I feel your pain. Perhaps if you were to cut off the monsters hand before thrashing it and then blow him/her up you may be granted asylum and be entitled to top state benefits. It's certainly worth a pop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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