Following the testing of two nuclear weapons by the isolated and ever so slightly paranoid North Korea, the UN security council has vowed to impose its toughest yet, set of sanctions against one of the worlds looniest leaders.
Former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who is desperate to escape the stench from the decay of the Labour Government spoke to reporters on a visit to a Pie factory where one new job had been created.
Mr Brown said: 'North Korea should be under no illusions as to how unhappy the UN is about this situation. We intend to introduce a wide ranging raft of measures designed to bring North Korea in line with international thinking'
Pausing briefly to speak to the new employee, Mr Jan Podolski from Warsaw, the gaffe prone Prime Minister continued:
'I spoke to Ban Ki Moon, the former leader of the infamous cult and now Secretary General of the UN only yesterday and agreed on the measures we will impose on Kim Jong Ill, the barmy leader of the barking state'
A leaked copy of a UN memo obtained from sources close to the issue, shows:
1. A letter will be sent to his mum
2. He will have to go to bed at 7.00 with no tea
3. There will no sweets for a month
4. His PS3 will be taken away for a week
A spokescomrade for the North Korean embassy said 'I have no specific information. However, I believe our beloved leader is not exactly shitting his pants'