Washington DC -- Joe Biden gave away the ultimate top-secret of all time. The wacky Vice-President confirmed the existence of UFO's in a speech to a stunned audience of scientists yesterday. Mr. Biden was informed of the top-secret data at his inauguration in January. He was been dying to tell everyone what he knows and he finally lost control of himself.
The Vice-President was delivering a speech about space travel to astronomers at the Smithsonian Institute but suddenly broke away from the prepared remarks. He looked down at the dais, smiled, and then looked at the audience.
"I know something you don't, I know something you don't! It's a biiiiggggg secret too! Bet you can't guess!" he said in a silly, childish voice. He brushed back the thinning hair from his sweaty forehead and continued.
"Flying saucers are real. Yeppers. I saw one myself at Area 51. The whole thing is a mess too, big time." he said. He suddenly frowned and became more serious.
"Okay, because you tricked me into telling you some stuff, I'll tell ya all the rest." he said. He put on his most serious expression and continued.
"Flying saucers like to hunt, kil, and eat people! Aliens eat about 100,000 people a year. And there's nothing we can do to stop them! Nada. No way, Jose! So that's why we gotta keep this a secret. Don't tell anyone! Don't tell anyone ya heard it from me! I'm already in trouble with The Boss, so please don't tell!" said the veep.
He laughed to himself for almost five minutes as the audience stared at him in complete shock and silence.
The White House had no comments about Biden's remarks. Mr. Biden checked into a local hospital for "a long rest" this morning, according to a Biden spokesman.