Written by Roy Turse

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Topics: Penis, Largest

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

image for Bob the Hermaphrodite has the World's Biggest Penis
According to legend you can sink a barnacle-encrusted boat by dropping a Viagra into the water

In spite of all previous claims to the contrary, a hermaphrodite called Bob actually has the World's Biggest Penis. The Book of World Records has conceded that taking relative body size into account, Bob the Barnacle is the current holder of the title.

Bob told our reporter; "The days of dismissing barnacles as boring are behind us. The world now knows what big boys we really are. In your face, Lenny Limpet!"

Barnacles have comparatively massive penises to overcome the restrictions imposed on them by being encased in a hard shell and being cemented in place. However, they also have female reproductive organs, so in the absence of any neighbours they can fertilize themselves, although this is frowned upon in the Barnacle community.

Bob, who at over 10cm long is thought to be one of the largest barnacles alive today, has become something of a celebrity in Barnacle circles. Fans have set up a Facebook group and there is talk of a TV show. He now mixes with the rich and famous, and he claims his rock pool is where all the big knobs hang out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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