Written by Rodd Justice
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Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Israel Attacks Arafat's Pants
An army stronghold

Israeli warplanes have attacked the symbolic target of Yasser Arafat's underpants drawer and the strategic Ramallah quarry.

Arafat's personalised "Hail to the Chief" underpants represent his leadership of the Palestinian embryonic state, one that he fostered through endless negotiation and diligent collection of Corn Flakes tokens. Although Israel has previously attacked his beard trimmer and his George Foreman grill, this is the first time Arafat's Spring/Summer collection has been attacked. It represents for Palestinians escalation in the conflict.

The total destruction of the quarry is a strategic blow for the Palestinian intifada. The Ramallah quarry is where the front-line in stone-throwers get 85' of their stones and rocks. They must now rely on a now uncertain supply from Osama bin Laden, who supplied the other 15', and on sticks from the Forest of Bigtree on the Gaza Strip.

"They've taken our sticks and our stones, but we still have some words that will hurt them" said one angry young man, referring to last week's attempted assassination of the Minister for Dictionaries and Televised Word-Games.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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