DATELINE:VATICAN_CITY-- Mothman made a brief but bizarre visit to the Vatican City yesterday and caused lots of excitement. The surreal spaceman seemed sexually attracted to the pontiff, and chased the poor old man for hours. The creature eventually gave up its pursuit and then took off again in its flying saucer.
The incident began Friday morning in Vatican Square, just as Pope Benedict XVI was addressing a large crowd from his balcony. The pope spoke of the unity of mankind and the hope for a better world. Apparently, Mothman heard the speech from his flying saucer and decided to land, right in Vatican Square!
The red-eyed, headless alien emerged from its flying saucer and made a loud buzzing sound. It spotted the pontiff standing on the balcony and apparently became sexually excited. Witnesses said a 10-foot long penis emerged from beneath the Mothman's legs. The creature then unfolded its wings and flew straight towards the bewildered pontiff!
Mothman was soon chasing Pope Benedict XVI up and down the corridors of the Vatican. The pontiff was dressed in white robes, and he looked like a flying angel as he ran through the halls. This seemed to inflame Mothman even more.
After a few hours Mothman lost interest and returned to its flying saucer and took off. The exhausted pontiff retired to his quarters after the ordeal with his virginity still intact.
A NASA spokesman said the event never happened. The flying saucer was the planet Venus and 'Mothman' was simply a confused Japanese tourist looking for a bathroom!