Broomshead, Aus - A group of mermaids and merman have been arrested trying to illegally enter Australia without passports or visas.
The mermaids were found wandering around a seaside town, causing panic and mayhem to the locals by talking in high-pitched, dolphin like voices that caused ear-splitting headaches. One mermaid was the spitting image of Darryl Hannah. They were quickly arrested by police and taken to their local immigration centre. An interpreter was supplied. There are only a handful of mermaid interpreters in the world today, but luckily one just happened to be fishing in the local marine.
The mermaids were asked for proof of identification and queried on what they were doing in the area. They replied that they had been forced out of their home county in the Indian ocean by warring whales and dolphins. They did not have any identification.
Officials then informed them that because they could not speak English and did not have a particular skill or qualification they would not pass the Tier 4 Visa application, nor would they be entitled to asylum seeker status.
One mermaid tried to make a run for it, but a clever thinking official threw a bucket of sea water at her as she made pace and her legs promptly turned into a tail and she fell to the floor, flapping about like a goldfish.
Currently the mermaids are being held in a cornered off swimming pool of a detention centre. They are all scheduled for deportation tomorrow. They will be taken by boat to the middle of the Indian ocean and dropped into the sea. Human rights activitists and animal rights activitsts say this is cruel, barbaric and a breach of human/animal rights, while lawyers for Immigration argue that the mermaids are not human or animal either and there are no rights currently in place for mythical creatures.
The mermaids are planning an appeal but must return to their home territories to do so. They plan to televise their plight on an international broadcasting channel in the hope that another country "not as mean, nasty and prejudiced" as Australia (in their words) will take them in.
Baywatch Inc. is considering hiring them and providing them with sponsorship/work visas in Hawaii. They will be required to wear the famous reading bath suits if hired. They may even become sex symbols. Personally, the thought of it makes me shudder - and it's not because I'm prejudiced!