Red-faced German officials admit they erred in arresting John Demjanjuk as the death camp guard "Ivan the Terrible" accused of assisting in the murders of 29,000 people when they discovered the crimes were actually committed by former Hitler youth member Joseph Alois Ratzinger, now known as Pope Benedict XVI.
"Demjanjuk was indeed in a prison camp just like he said he was", said Nazi hunter Efraim Zuroff. "We will send him back to the US with apologies and put the true culprit behind bars".
Vatican officials claim the German government has no proof that Ratzinger, who is an admitted former Hitler youth, was ever Ivan the Terrible. Officials also claimed they would never allow the Pope to be taken alive and threatened to bring the world to an end if anyone tried.
"Armageddon here we come!" the official stated.
"Screw them damn Jews!" Pope Benedict XVI was allegedly heard screaming from the balcony.