Holy Land - (Holy Ass Mess): Vatican security staff are warning the Pope of a likely copycat shooting attempt on this Wednesday's 28th anniversary of Pope John Paul II's brush with an assassin's bullet.
Pope Benedict is on a five day Communion wine bender to the Holy Land and has scheduled celebrating the May 13th feastday of Our Lady of Fatima with a friendly meeting of local Opus Dei bagmen hellbent on doing Pontifical ditrywork under the convenience flagship of the Hezbollah.
No one outside the Vatican is actually sure what the fabled Third Secret of Fatima actually is, according to CIA records.
No one except perhaps reliable NATO military intelligence sources which reckon the May 13th 1917 Virgin apparition promised a Day From Hell if the Vatican didn't come clean about its pederasts.
Hitler's Pope Pius XII fathered both George Bush Senior and Junior.