To Old Macdonald's Farm where a recent outbreak of illness appears to be bucking the media feeding frenzy thats got us all feeling "pigsick". In a bizarre twist in the tail,the crashing boars at "Old Browns Farm" all seem to have contracted what can only be described as "Man Flu".
A prominent Sow at the farm called Jacqui Smith claimed: "All the hogs are whinging and whining about Gordon, the prize Edinburgh bore. They blame the "John Bullshitter" breed for losing the huge erection lead that the "New Pig party" had twice won twice in a row. Everyone also blames Gordon for letting the piggies run amok in the City and making a huge mess in the banks. Many Britons lost their Bacon as the piggies "liquidity problems" hit the fan".
Jacqui, the secretary of state for the farm and sties has suffered further leaks and embarrassments when her snout was caught in the trough again for receiving dubious allowances. In addition, her porky partner Swine's porcine porno predilection and perusal of, "Ride a Pigs Cock to Banbury Cross" caused immense embarrassment.
A leading Westminster specialist went on to describe the symptoms of "man Flu" as consisting of apathy, moaning and groaning about the boss, backstabbing pains, inability in males to maintain an election or a decision, sloping shoulders, and finally getting sacked by the (Ed ) Balls. A prize boar called Milliband was said to be planning the Pork chop for Gordon if he doesn't recover the vote soon. "It's kinder to put him out of his misery now," said Milliband. "He's more of a lame duck than a pig; he staggers around the farm completely deluded and porking to himself all day."
Concerned animals at the farm claim the pigs have let the wolves do as they please around the farm for years. A Puddleduck named Jemima claimed, "I lost my job at the National Egg sitting Service after it got taken over by a grunt from private enterprise that charged twice as much for the service and then sold, or lost all the golden eggs."
In a final act of contempt, both the old "Brown Bore" and Alistair Darling quantitavely eased themselves over the economy, to the disgust and disbelief of onlookers. "The sky TV is falling in claimed Chicken Licken, Rupert "the Bear" Murdoch doesnt support the "Brown Bore" anymore.
Farm analysts claim huge pigs like Fred Goodwin forced out, sacked, downsized, outsourced, offshored, rationalised, or ate anyone with any talent leaving a greasy bunch of amoral, clueless spivs in control of the farms finances.
As the pigswill troughs dry up and straw and wooden houses are routinely "huffed and puffed" down, you can be sure the big piggies are buying plenty of bricks for a house to keep the wolves from their doors.