FBI and CIA investigators have discovered huge vats of swine flu virus in the still undisclosed hiding place/ office of former VP Dick Cheney. Agency psychologists have disclosed information that identifies Cheney as the kind of bitter old man who would try and create a pandemic.
Cheney's masterminding of the feebleminded George W Bush's Presidency has been widely recognized as a miserable failure. Barack Obama, Cheney's ideological oppositer is enjoying tremendous support and admiration despite the multiple wrenches he and W threw into domestic and international politics.
Cheney, agency experts believe, is a kind od Unabomber, motivated by jealousy and humiliation and swine flu is his most recent way of shooting an unappreciative world in the face.