Written by J.K. Baltzersen
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Sunday, 3 May 2009

image for Swine Flu Is Really Wine Flu
Wine flu transmits through wine.

Berlin, Germany. Swine flu is actually wine flu, an investigation shows.

Some incidents of what was thought to be a suspicious disease were being investigated by a German research institute. The institute made a statement: "This iss wine flu!"

As so often is the case when Germans communicate with native English speakers, a misunderstanding arose. The statement to be sent around the world was: "This is swine flu!" A wave of panic had emerged. However, there is now no need for a panic, as we are only dealing with wine flu.

Wine flu tends to arise from drinking wine, and there is no evidence, of even the slightest sort, that the disease transmits from human to human.

Early symptoms of wine flu are:

  • eagerness to talk
  • over-optimism
  • too much self-confidence

Later symptoms of wine flu include:

  • headache
  • physical fatigue
  • lack of enthusiasm

Symptoms may even be nausea and lack of appetite. In extreme cases, the victims may even lack completely the ability to eat and drink. They will throw up any substance that finds its way into their stomachs.

Some phases of wine flu seem to have similarities with the phenomenon known as hangover.

Sources claim wine flu is common and that a whole lot of people get the disease repeatedly. They keep on drinking wine, knowing they can contract wine flu.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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