Written by victor nicholas
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Topics: Death, magnets

Saturday, 2 May 2009

image for Woman Killed by Fridge Magnets
Mrs. Givens Enjoyed Public Transportation

Barnstaple - Sixty-seven year old Marjorie Givens died last week when her refrigerator toppled over on her while she was getting some milk for her tea.

Forensic investigation by the local constabulary under the direction of Mike Millington has revealed the cause of death to be "The large number of magnets accumulated by Mrs. Givens over her lifetime and placed on the door of her refrigerator."

"The weight of the magnets grew over time until it reached a tipping point triggered by Mrs. Givens opening the door to get some milk."

Constable Millington says the investigation is continuing. "We believe it was not the refrigerator that killed Mrs. Givens, per se, but the puncture wounds from several uniquely shaped fridge magnets in combination with the weight of the refrigerator which Mrs. Givens had made top-heavy by placing a turkey in the top freezer compartment earlier in the week."

"Suspects include the Blackpool Tower, the London Eye and a bit dodgy looking big Ronnie Barker."

"We have put these magnets under surveillance to ensure that they do not cause another mishap and advise those with large numbers of fridge magnets to exercise extreme caution when opening the doors to their refrigerators."

MP Nick Harvey says "Warning labels should be placed on all new fridge magnets."

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