Tokyo, Japan - the world's leading city in innovation has just released its latest and brightest invention - a car made of used milk bottles which runs on recycled sewerage. The invention is being hailed one of the greatest of all time, perhaps even better than sliced bread, if that is at all possible.
The new car will be called the Hunka Sewerage. The Hunka Sewerage will be assembled of 3,000 milk bottles and various other dairy products. And, as the manufacturers wanted to stay as raw as possible, none of the milk bottles will be cleaned of labelling or adverts, meaning you could be driving around in a car which says Scottish Pride or Moo or Full Fat or a missing person's report.
The milk lids will also be used on the new vehicles for the headlights and hub caps. Radio aerials are to be made of Nesquick straws; door handles are to be carved out of used yoghurt containers and the wheels are to be made from petrified donuts. You may be wondering what donuts have to do with dairy products. Well the answer is, apart from the fact they taste good with a glass of milk, not much. But this car is not about just diary products - it is about recycling, it is about innovation, it is about creativity. The new Hunka Sewerage has got the lot.
But the inventors didn't stop there. They wanted to come up with a fuel source that was equally as innovative, equalling as environmentally friendly, equally as cost effective: recycled sewerage.
The sewerage will be taken from special sewerage farms in India, Indonesia, Iowa, Ipswich and anywhere else that starts with I. The Cholera and Malaria has been carefully extracted, along with any other diseases carried by contaminated water, urine and poo. The car will cost just 20p a litre to run. It may be a little bit unkind on the nose, but that's a small price to pay.
The Hunka Sewerage will be available in the UK and Europe by January 1 next year. And the cost? Well here's the best part - a brand new Hunka Sewerage will cost just £1,100 and the manufacturers will throw in a year's worth of free sewerage to the first 3,000 European buyers.
The Hunka Sewerage: now that's what I call eco-friendly, cost effective and innovative. It will change our lives. Even if it stinks.