Written by Bureau

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Topics: swine flu

Thursday, 30 April 2009

image for Wild Swine Flu Theories Going Around The World
Panic! Neighbor's Begin Squealing On Each Other,

Although most people are not panicking despite the Chicken Little approach adopted by virtually the entire world's media over swine flu and the World Health Organization's upgrade of the threat level to Defcon 5 or whatever, lots of theories are running rampant.

"We've finally got something to replace the 911 conspiracy", stated one WHO representative.

So far, the WHO has found s a dramatically lower death toll figures than the hysterical figures coming out of Mexico. But admits they understand that the media needs something to keep people watching and they haven't had much lately, especially in the light of the recent findings that 'President Obama's farts don't stink'.

"Because the symptoms of swine flu include looking pale, weak, delirious with a runny nose, everyone suddenly thinks they have it", stated Joe Ysrili, another WHO rep who's also a doctor. "But these theories are causing panic."

Some of the conspiracies already denied by the WHO include a terrorist plot, UFO abductions, scientists creating human/pig embryos, Dr. Kevorkian's revenge, Britney Spears not wearing underwear and anything said by "journalists" on TV evening news.

"The best conclusion we have come to so far, is that this is from Al Gore trying to cut the population down because of global warming and using buddy politicians handshakes over the past year and a half."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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