Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: swine flu

Thursday, 30 April 2009

image for H1N1: FDA fast-tracks generic knockoff of Tamiflu with "Tami-flew"
"Tami-flew" to the rescue!

Madison Avenue, New York - Much like Tamiflu, "Tami-flew" works best as a security blanket for panic-minded as like the brand name, its effectiveness against H1N1 (the so-called swine flu) has yet to be medically proven. However, that is not stopping shortsighted people from emptying the local pharmacy shelves of Tamiflu, or now its generic knockoff "Tami-flew", too.

"We knew that would happen," said a pharmaceutical salesman. "That's why we named it 'Tami-flew" because we knew it would fly off the shelves. Because, lets face it, no matter what crap manufactures like us make, with the right marketing research, advertising campaign and product placement, people will buy anything."

Despite the FDA approval, however, many physicians remain skeptical about the effectiveness of "Tami-flew".

"As well they should be. Otherwise, I'd be out of a job," continued the pharmaceutical salesman. "Besides, we never said it would work. Read the fine print. In fact, it wasn't designed to. Well, at least not on purpose."

According to the manufacturer of "Tami-flew", it was designed to fool people. Mostly the illiterate, people too lazy to read a book, news article or in this case, even a product label and especially the socially impaired who think only of themselves in a time of crisis.

Health officials say the only good thing about "Tami-flew" coming on to the market right now, and the only reason the FDA gave its fast-track approval, is that the counterfeit product will free up the real Tamiflu for the patients that are ill and really need it.

"If Tamiflu should prove effective against H1N1," said a spokesman for the CDC. "We need it in the hospital infirmary to be issued to the infected. Not gathering dust in somebody's medicine cabinet. So therefore, we strongly recommend the public stock up on all the 'Tami-flew' they can get their greedy little hands on."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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