Written by Atticus Finch

Print this

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

image for Nostrodamus Predicted Swine Flew - It Is Armaggedon
It's Coming - Don't Be Scared - Tommy Wasn't In The Trenches

Nostradamus, who gets things right in retrospect, predicted the current level 5 pandemic of Swine Flu - and indeed this is it - Armageddon. Hooray.

Morose singer Morrisey is ecstatic that the world is ending as am I - as I have criminal case hanging over me and chances are I will do time. Not now though - I will become a drifter like Mad Max, before eventually dying.

Really we should have seen it coming - as celebrity pig Jade Goody caught the disease and subsequently died of it a few weeks ago. Now it is expected that the next celebrity pig, Susan Boyle, will get it.

Could we have done more?

Probably - but we were too busy fighting unnecessary wars, worried about money and totally engrossed in our selfish little worlds to have seen this coming.

Go out, get pissed, have fun, Nostradamus is seldom wrong, in retrospect, there will be no vaccine, so don't hold out hope, there simply isn't the funds.

We fucked up.

On a brighter note....my personal calming and anxiety medicines are working.

(c) Atticus Finch - Pretend Lawyer.

Make Atticus Finch's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 3?

9 22 6 17
70 readers are online right now!

Go to top