Written by Wire Piddle
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Topics: swine flu

Saturday, 2 May 2009

image for Canadian Eskimo Blamed For Swine Flu
Mr. Johnny Great Mukluks And Not A Bad Haircut Either's Home

Mexico City, Mexico [UPI] - A native Canadian Eskimo, or Inuit as is the preferred term, is being blamed as the source of the H1M1 virus, or so-called 'Swine Flu' by Mexican health authorities.

"We believe Mr. Johnny Great Mukluks And Not A Bad Haircut Either, of 3479867 Great Slave Highway, to be the soul source of this pandemic," the Mexican government press release states.

"I'm quite surprised by this accusation," Mr. Johnny Great Mukluks And Not A Bad Haircut Either stated.

"I'd never been off the frozen tundra and found an excellent charter deal out of Yellowknife so I thought I might partake in a break from my usual activities of procuring various fishery related animals from a six foot diameter hole in the ice and see just what this Mexican Riviera was all about."

"After soaking up the local culture, the sun-drenched shores, sandy beaches and weak beer, I made my way home only to be confronted by this rather confounding hysteria."

The package holiday charter company, Global Warming Express, has suspended operations to Mexico until further notice. Canadian government health officials were found inebriated and incoherent beyond all comprehension, eating tortillas and mud wrestling the locals in a tiny coastal village in the Mexican state of Oaxaca.

No statement is thought to be forthcoming however one Mexican official questioned, off the record, why Mr. Johnny Great Mukluks And Not A Bad Haircut Either's speech pattern sounded suspiciously like a resident of Barnsley, South Yorkshire, England.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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