NORTH, KOREA: North Korean scientists state they have successfully cloned a 'glowing Dear Leader', using DNA from Kim Jong-il and mutant beagle puppies.
The head of the experiment said: "Everybody thinking maybe Dear Leader die or maybe have stroke or some such thing. Not true. Dear Leader being cloned by famous North Korean scientist so Dear Leader never die but always coming back, Now he be Dear Glowing Leader".
He added: "Radioactive material from latest missile test falling on people and animals. People dying but animals glowing. Very good for making cloning DNA. Now all North Korea people very happy"
The next step is to use this same radioactive material to make 'fluorescent, glowing people' eliminating the need for light bulbs and other forms of street lighting. After that, "next missile test can put cover on Sun"
US observers said they had been curious about Kim Jong-il's sudden re-appearance on TV last week and had been even more taken aback at his strangely glowing skin. As usual the Vatican raised objections to glowing skin saying it was un-Christian and calling it "the Devil's work".
For its part, North Korean State TV called this feat a glorious victory for North Korea and warned the world "not to inter-feah in our good work"