Mexico City,Today - In a story that's 100% CERTAIN to remind you of this one here, Police and tourist chiefs are reporting an influx of suicidal 'Emos' into Mexico City.
Hairy faced Coño Del La Puta, of the Mexican Tourist board said she had witnessed a large increase in the numbers of 'miserable, dead-eyed, smelly looking teenagers' entering the city from places as far flung as Bradford, Stockholm and Bonn.
Mexican Police Officer Phil LasPayne also reported a rise in the numbers of drably dressed adolescents and 'gentlemen of a gothic bent' visiting and sullenly attempting to lick other people's faces and the handrails of trains and buses.
One hapless Hispanic reported having as many as 14 sweaty full length leather coated men surrounding him whilst pushing their pale spotty made-up faces up against his mouth.
Kris Vindowlich (17), a ginormously gargantuan gimp mask attired German usually based in Munich told us, 'It is the talk of all Europe how your it has become so easy to "successfully throw a seven" in Mexico I just had to come and chance my lady luck'. 'Although less dramatic than half-heartedly cutting yourself, it's certainly à la mode'.
It is currently unknown as to whether or not any of our continent's irrelevant Emo's have yet succumbed to lung-crunching porcine flu, but we kinda hope they do.