UN HQ, New Pork - (Sick-As-A-Pig Ass Mess): President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has told the UN Security Council that Iranians are immune from swine flu which is the Almighty's punishment on apostate infidels "like certain lying bastards in Tel Aviv".
But he also flatly refused Iranians permission to donate bodily fluids to a World Health Organization's vaccine manufacturing program.
Citing theological and religious grounds Ahmadinejad referred to links between swine flu immunization and an MMR jab 'conspiracy' at London's Royal Freak Hospital
"What does this MMR injection stand for?" Ahmadinejad queried.
"Disease-spreading Methodists, Mormons and Rastafarians, that's what."
The Iranian president also railed against other godless peoples who broadcast filthy beastial sickness and homosexuality through vaccinations.
"You really think I'd permit my fellow countrymen to be injected with inert pork virus cells sucked off from Israeli swine?"
Well, it's a thought...