Written by howy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 27 April 2009

image for The Taliban offering Susan Boyle as payment
Lunatic, Susan Boyle offered as a fake virgin.

France - Susan Boyle, escaped mental hospital lunatic recently joined the Taliban and is now being offered as payment to their fighters. In Afghanistan she went through hymen repair surgery to make her more acceptable during payment.

Hymen repair, fake virginity certificates and other deceptions, said to be commonplace in the Taliban's payment method to its young impressionable fighters has been receiving bad publicity because real virgins are running scares in Afghanistan.

A cleric states that Allah has told the Taliban that any young man that dies will have his wife with him in heaven. If a young man dies without a wife then he will be alone in heaven to wonder through eternity as a homosexual.

The procedures are illegal and shrouded in silence - "something that passes through non-official channels," via friends or the Internet, said Dr. Nathan Wrobel.

Wrobel is one of an unknown number of gynecologists in Afganistan who are willing to repair hymens, the membrane usually broken by the first act of sexual intercourse. He was one of the few doctors willing to talk about it.

Wrobel says the Taliban comes to him having convinced themselves that the procedure will somehow reverse the irreversible. "They tell me, 'Are they going to be a virgin again. You will make them a virgin,' which in reality is totally false .... It's a secret we share."

Other doctors working for the Taliban issue false virginity certificates or offer such tricks as spilling a vial of blood on the sheets to fool families into believing the bride has passed their purity bar.

Through the ages, virginity has been prized across religions and cultures, and doctors note that only a few generations back European brides also had to furnish documentary "proof" of chastity.

Isabelle Levy, author of Religion in the Hospital, decries both certificates and hymen repair, saying deception "increases the moral suffering."

In Islam, virginity is linked to bridal purity and family honor, said Dalil Boubakeur, head of the Paris Mosque.

He notes that tradition holds that "adre," virgins, are among the delights of paradise. However, Boubakeur, a doctor and a moderate Muslim, says the Quran is against the deception.

Make howy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 4?

9 20 22 16

Go to top