LONDON, UK: In a major effort to prevent the spread of swine flu, the Health Department has issued the following caveat to travelers: Enjoy your overseas holiday but don't sleep with pigs.
A newly released report says that normally the swine flu bug doesn't infect people. Pigs, like humans do get the flu. The porky porcines can develop a sudden fever together with a barking cough, sneezing, lethargy and loss of appetite - much like the average grumpy hubby.
The Health Minister said: "Normally, swine flu bugs don't infect people. But there is one sure way that people can get this flu and that is by being in direct contact with pigs. We have observed such cases occurring in the U.S.
"So we are warning Brits travelling overseas NOT TO SLEEP WITH PIGS!"
"Ohmigawd", bawled Emma Puddicombe of Swindon. "I just got back from 2 weeks in Mexico and all the guys I slept with there were real pigs. In fact the guy I F***** the most - who called himself Puerco Tito - was an absolute swine. I think I better make a full confession to Father Bacon".