Written by Bluebella
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Topics: Bill Gates

Friday, 24 April 2009

image for Bill Gates to Purchase Great Britain - Part 2
Mummy?

Further to our earlier story: In an exclusive interview from one of his 32 mansions (and that's just in Malibu alone), Bill Gates, American Business Mogul and Chairman of Microsoft has announced he will be purchasing Great Britain.

Gates met with British Prime Minister-by-default Gordon Brown, on the weekend, to discuss the purchase of Great Britain, which is fast sliding into bankruptcy. Yet despite the huge debts and loss of income, politicians still continue to piss money up the wall by claiming porn movies on their expenses and wasting public cash on playing Cops and Robbers in the Middle East.

Originally, Brown had intended to put GB up for auction but couldn't settle on a suitable location for the auction. A number of countries, entrepreneurs and a celebrity couple had expressed their interest, including the Republic of China, Al Qaeda (which already has a 10% stake in Britain) and Brangelina. Australia had expressed some initial interest but pulled out upon hearing its neighbouring country of New Zealand was up for sale for the same price but with much better weather.

Brown and Gates have agreed upon a price of £21 million, which is about 30p for every man, woman and child in the country. Just two years ago Britain was worth over £91,000,000,000x100, but with the crash of central London's biggest banks, unemployment rising, the BBC planning to finish Eastenders and a serial killer on the loose in East Anglia, the figure has been substantially reduced.

The clincher for Gates was when Mr Brown agreed to throw in Britain's most loved public figure Sir Fred Goodwin. Goodwin comes with family and very generous pension fund.

Bill Gates and family will be moving in to Buckingham Palace upon settlement. They WILL be allowed to call The Queen "mummy" (or "mommy" for all you American readers).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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