President Obama has left the world reaching for inhalers and shotguns as he reveals he has sold all but one US state to Iraq.
The pre-recorded footage was shot while Obama was in the UK for the G20 conference.
In a back room of 10 Downing Street Obama had to say "America, phh. They can have it. I heard the Middle East were in need of a target practice site, coincidentally the same size and shape as the US. I thought it would be the perfect way to say thanks for all the sporting events we have been involved in, particularly our second round of Gulf."
Obama added that the Middle East were also looking for some office space to run their immense shooting range. "Maybe Gordon Brown has some space to offer as well."
But there was a state that Obama refused to sell. "They can't have Disneyland - Florida remains mine. Only I get giant teacups with a giant mouse head on them."
This story is strangely in memory of those lost in the war on terror.
Rest in peace.