Residents of beyond the local Alpha Centauri district are petitioning the Mplityrsss government to enforce harsh restrictions on teenage travel to and from Earth after several have returned with tattoos on their appendages and high as a Pluberkski Cat!
In response, one of our fair citizens has volunteered to go to Earth, that's right the heathens themselves, and check out what's going on over there in that wacky galaxy.
Irgnork Fljurbested has agreed to disguise itself as a female from a place called Scotland or some such idiocy.
"She" is called..now get this...Susan Boyle! Yes, Boyle! Like a knot on your sitters!!
It's already stole the hearts of those simple beings and they are thrilled with it's vebatimicry.
Until our Irgnork is safely home upon our misty planetoid, we shall all keep "her" in our feelers and Ploods.
"While we do not wish to prevent the Earthlings from destroying themselves, at the same time we must save our young pods", stated the Gland Muscle Wei. "We do not want our children to wander into this Earth's atmosphere and end up getting shot down or worse."
"Everything's trying to be noid and collective, but the bottom line, as they say, is that those humans simply cannot be trusted. They're dangerous."
"Just look at what happened to Kjoplopnuck and Feebclukj in 1947 in Roswell. We warned them not to get too close but they would do their teenage dare dips!