LONDON, UK: Poor Madge. Will she ever learn how to mount a horse properly? In her quest to become the ultimate frumpy English country horse-woman, the Material girl has fallen off the equine rump- once again.
"I told her she'd never really cut it", said the even frumpier Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall. "You're either born to being a horsey horse-woman like me, or you're not. Madonna is a rather pathetic nouveau-riche tacky arriviste from the colonies".
A hospital spokeswoman said Madonna's injuries were minor and she would be released very soon.
Gossip wags have said this was all a major publicity stunt. It appears that Madonna was not happy with her last face-lift which she felt was responsible for her failed Malawi adoption bid.
"She's going to need another huge make-over; a major re-haul involving a long stay in the hospital. What better way to facilitate this than engineering a so-called fall from the horse".
Willy Pickles, the horse's groom said the horse panicked when he saw Madonna's tight, frozen face and bolted, resulting in her fall. "Twas all 'er fault it was. Looked like old waxworks, she did. We're not going to shoot 'im, no way", he said.