Dateline Cairo, Egypt - A storeroom housing about three dozen ancient Egyptian fossilized farts have been unearthed inside a 3,000-year-old tomb during the latest round of excavations at the vast necropolis of Mimfft, twenty one miles south of Cairo, archaeologists said Friday.
"The tomb was located at the bottom of a 398-foot-deep shaft", screamed Egypt's top archaeologist, Zahi Hawlass at the top of his voice from out of the deep hole.
"Thirty-two fossilized farts were found in niches along the tomb's walls", he screamed! "I think Professor Beloozi has also swallowed part of one that got water spilled on it! We must get him some help!"
Seven more sarcophagi were also found in the tomb but they plan to get them out before opening and having another accident.
Archaeologists so far have opened only one of the sarcophagi which a native digger, Scatman Nehru, spilled water from a sippy cup- "and found four fossilized farts inside of it", said Hawlass' assistant, Abdel Hakim Ajar.
Fossilized farts are believed to be inside the other seven also, he said.
As of today at 3PM, Professor Beloozi's conditioned was listed as "Rotten".