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Topics: Religion

Friday, 17 April 2009

image for Religion 'not quite all it's cracked up to be'
"I'm very old, you know."

Religious groups worldwide have been protesting after an unusual video was posted by an anonymous source on You Tube yesterday, showing Pope Benedict XVI sprawled on a bed with an anonymous man, muttering about various references to the Bible.

The six minute-long video, which seems to be covertly filmed, starts with the Pope lolling around lazily on some cushions, brandishing a copy of Unwin's Science Dictionary and telling his companion that "...this makes a lot of sense, really. I mean, we've no proof of anything. It's not all it cracked up to be." He was then seen to giggle hysterically, lavishing attention upon his young male companion, before jokingly asking him if he could "grab another beer, and get one for yourself, Fernando."

After petting a black cat which is reputed to be named 'Richard', the leader of the Catholic Church was seen to feed his fish, rinse his mouth using liquid from a plastic bottle labelled 'Holey Water' and make a brief telephone call to a local pizza establishment, during which he rebuked the manager for not putting enough ham on a previous order.

The video ends with the Pope turning on his television to a music channel, and is overheard telling his cat that he would like to "...f*ck that P-Diddy right up his nice black ass" and then sighing as his Sky remote packs in.

Catholic Groups the world over have condemned the clip, branding it 'monstrous hepatitis', 'clammy-fingered obesity' and 'a fakery not seen since the birth of Islam' but a Vatican insider has claimed the film is genuine.

"He [the Pope] just loves MTV, and sprightly young things," he said. "He only took the job as he's frightened of care homes, due to his age."

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